Category: Let's talk
Hi all, this was emailed to me recently and got me thinking. I am about to start uni in just over 2 weeks, and so am prepared for a lot of new people who will be curious about how I wake up in the morning and know which side of the bed I am on, not to mention all the other randem things I am sure to be asked, all of which I will have heard before. Like the writer of this article I have been quizzed numerous times whilst riding on public transport, and even while minding my own business at my favourite coffee shop. even my doctor was more worried about how I was going to know where I was up to in my course of medication I was prescribed recently, than weather or not it would actually work. I guess it never acurs to some people that you can't pop pills out of empty packets.. I've also been asked how I know what door of the train to get out of. I don't know about sited people, but I usually get out of the one that is open. I've also given a flirtatious response to the guy from college who said hello beautiful to my guide dog. It didn't how ever get me a date. Most girls aren't so direct. I wonder what I did wrong? I guess it was speaking without being spoken to.
Now this isn't a dig at how stupid all sited people are, as we all know, every person be they blind or sited, tall or short, able bodied or not, and from what ever nationality they are lucky enough to be born into. Has the right to be a complete twit sometimes. I guess we so called minority groups just see a lot more of it on display.
I'm blind, but there's no need to talk to my dog
By IAN HAMILTON
The Herald, Scotland (UK), February 06, 2007
I'm utterly exhausted with people constantly asking how I became blind.
Considering that I'm 42, and blind since birth, it could be imagined that by
now I would be familiar with this question.
On the contrary, if anything I'm getting more impatient with the same old
questions day after day. "Have you been blind all your life?" To this I
always respond: "Not yet".
"Your hearing must be so much better than mine?" Answer: "Pardon?" "That's a
lovely Labrador you have there." Answer: "Labrador? My dog is a Shepherd."
Not original answers, but they always make me and Moss, my black Labrador,
chuckle.
It always happens when I'm trapped and unable to escape. When I'm on a bus,
train or taxi. People are naturally curious; I understand this. But they
can't resist going that little bit too far if you show any glimpse of being
generous with your responses.
"Couldn't you get an operation to get your sight back?" Answer: "No! I like
walking into bus stops."
"My auntie was blind. She had to stay in bed. You're so brave going out and
about." Staying in bed. Umm, now there's an idea. That was one smart auntie.
"How do you find your mouth when you eat?" Answer: "In the same way you find
your bum when you wipe it."
"If I was blind I would have to kill myself." Answer: "Why wait?"
These normal questions are the reason I've come up with a fantastic plan.
For years, various organisations have been providing Blind Awareness
Workshops. In fact, I've had to deliver a few. These workshops show the
public how they should respond if they encounter a blind person. Topics such
as, don't go up and shout at blind people, they are not deaf.
ASK, if they want to cross the road? DON'T drag them across the road by the
ears. When you are giving directions, DON'T waggle your finger in some vague
direction and say: "It's just over there next to the post office. SEE, you
can't miss it." Wanna bet?
Many years ago I was waiting for a bus in Union Street in Glasgow, when two
little old ladies decided to lift me, from behind, on to the bus. They
proceeded to push, heave and shove me. Now, I know I'm not known for my
speed, but I was heading in the right direction of the door under my own
propulsion. You won't be surprised to hear that they failed miserably. After
all, I'm 13 stone and 6ft. To get me safely aboard they caused mayhem:
pushing mothers and toddlers aside to get to their prey. The driver had to
leave his cab to untangle buggies, shopping and various limbs and walking
sticks.
I wonder if the ladies survived that day. I know I'm scared.
I've decided to call my new training course The Blind Person's Guide to the
General Public. Topics such as dealing with people who are giving directions
to my dog while ignoring me. This did happen in Glasgow's Central Station by
a member of the railway police. I couldn't believe it. Was he having a
laugh? No, he really was under the misapprehension that my dog knew what he
was on about. Not once did he refer to me at all. Bizarre behaviour!
My course will teach blind people how to cope when faced with this kind of
attitude. When people come up and say: "You are a lovely boy" - when talking
to the dog. Say, "Thank you very much but I'm spoken for."
Another tip is always to have a pair of headphones in your pocket. It is
awful to be trapped on a train with someone going through all their fears
and traumas about being blind. Just say that you are going to listen to an
audio book. Pop on the headphones and put the jack in your pocket. They'll
never know the difference.
When you get caught by someone asking silly questions, the answer is to turn
the conversation round at the first opportunity. The one main conversation
that everyone likes to talk about is themselves.
Now this doesn't just apply to us blindies - the technique can be used by
everyone. Let me give you an example. I was travelling on the Glasgow
Underground. Sitting opposite was a woman who decided to interrogate me
about my then German Shepherd guide dog. "What's its name?" The following
questions took that kind of line. Then she started to get a little more
probing. "So how did you lose your sight?"
Now in the correct circumstance that is a perfectly reasonable question.
However, not on the underground when surrounded by ear-wigging passengers. I
had a number of options. One is telling her to mind her own business (or
words to that effect). I took a different tack. This was the first time I
had put the technique into action.
It worked a treat.
I ignored her question. Then I asked her some questions of my own, such as,
"Where are you off to today?". By the time she got off three stops later, I
knew that she had just broken up with her boyfriend, she was looking for a
flat and was thinking of moving south again! But she left the tube feeling
happy. I hadn't been rude, and the only thing she found out about me was the
name and age of my dog.
A good result, I would say. I'm not a reporter for nothing.
Hmm, think I will have to use this one! lol
Nice article, and very good technique to turn conversations around. I like it. Have to try it out myself next time a situation comes up. I'm not as prickly as this guy is about questions, but on days when I'm feeling grouchy, this could work.
Hey Krystel,
I got that in my e-mail too. Was thinking about posting it here, but it's a good thing I saw you did. *GRIN* I love this guy. He's awesome. Hehehehe.
Hmm, some of these are kinda funny, although the "have you been blind" respons is pretty stupid. See, by "have" the question already implies he is still blind and it only applies to his life so far, "were you blind all your life" would indicate they're asking about his life as a whole, so using this answer kind of makes him look a little, well, not to put it nicely "stupid".
In general I've come across three types of people, broadly speaking. Those who regard blindies as odd and don't even talk to them, out of ignorance or may be just lack of interest (I certainly don't claim everyone should want to talk to me sighted or not), those who are a little unsure at first so they ask a few "annoying" questions to break the ice and get used to the fact you are blind, those have generally turned out to be nic people nd some f those who got over the stupid question stage are some f my best friends today, and then those who just can't stop asking stupid blind related questions and it gets to the point where you want to beat them up with your cane or dog (let your cane bite them and beat them with the guid dog). Generally I find relatively few people fall into category # 3 so I try to tolerate the questions at first because I know people generally get over them. If someone breaks the ice and starts talking to you by being rude or too much of a smart ass you may not only ruin the chance for building a friendship but you may also prevent that person from approaching a blindie ever again. We're not good at breaking the ice, at least if the interesting person isn't sitting next to you so I like people from group #2. For the insistently stupid ones I may start to use shifty replies.
So while this is funny I just want to, in general, point ot that we need to be tolerant and very careful in the first few minutes of conversations with a stranger, sure we're just individualsand blindness is not something that defines us (or only a very small part of who we are) but sighted people don't see it that way, they stereotype and the way we react to them may really leave an impression in their minds.
cheers
-B